im going through some major shit in life.
i wish everything was back to normal.
but i know it won't. cos now, he's gone forever.
i really miss him & everything we used to be.
though it was he's fault for playing me out,
i still feel that i shouldn't have been so harsh
towards him. maybe if i didn't send him that msg,
we could have still been friends.
i don't know why this has to happen to me.
cos i don't think that i have the strength to handle
this anymore. it hurts so much.
it feels like im living in a fake world.
im a person who laughs for anything & everything.
but now, even smiling seems so difficult.
i thought that putting on a fake smile wouldn't hurt.
it does. cos there's so much pain hidden behind.
if we don't get back, im still fine with it.
but, i just need one more chance to talk to him.
i want him to know how much he means to me.
and after that, we'd go on our own ways.